" What about the wooden leg? You didn't have that before." Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."The bartender replied: "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"The pirate explained: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M. "Patty," I blurted quickly. She put down her pen and told me the bad news "we're closing, really we are closed; we closed at 5." Seven goddamn minutes, I hissed silently. She could see my frustration. "I'll cut you, if you don't mind paying with cash." Yes! Thank you so much! I have no time, really this is my only chance, thank... she stopped me mid-sentence, "come on."I don't want a lot cut off, just shaped a bit in the back, I instructed. "I'm Lindsay" she smiled again. We chatted about the usual topics during the cut. And I must say I was very relaxed with no other customers waiting and no other employees making noise; this was rather enjoyable. Serendipity, I thought.All of the lights were off except the few that were necessary, so as not to attract any more customers. She clipped and asked me about my husband. What's there to say, I thought. She talked on and on. Thank God, because I didn't have much to say. Her fingers felt good on my scalp and neck.“Wash?” Yes! I almost.
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